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» נצפה 167 פעמים מאז תחילת הספירה.
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לפני 14 שנים ו-2 חודשים סיפור חיים באנגלית, פרק 9 A.B.
30
Chapter nine: Serving my country.
Pick up your helmets, shouted the corporal.
We stood in line, still in our civilian clothes. In front of each one of us laid a heap of military gear. We were checking if we got all our gear according to the list. Later in our tents we will put on our uniforms. One by one the corporal read out loud the various items, and we put them in our kitbag. In each tent were six beds. Fully dressed soldiers already occupied some of them. “Fresh meat” they called us, although they themselves have arrived less than an hour ago. One of them was Marco, whom I have met at the evening school, and we became quite good friends at the time.
What are your plans? He asked, are you volunteering to join the paratroopers or something similar?
I will rather let the army decide where to send me, I replied.
We will remain in this camp for a few days, until we pass some tests. Then they’ll send us to various outfits. Said Marco, with the authority of a real veteran,
in the meantime you can relax. Put your belongings on this bed, before someone else takes it. He said, pointing at the empty bed near the one he was sitting on. I put on my uniform, spread the blankets, arranged my suitcase and kitbag underneath, and we went to look if we could buy a drink somewhere. We had hardly walked away a few steps when we heard the corporal calling us.
The sergeant major wants you in his office one by one, he said. Follow me.
He took the group of newcomers to the headquarters. I happened to be the first to step into the office.
What the fuck, are you smiling about? Yelled the sergeant major.
I am not smiling. Said I.
Whom are you addressing? He shouted even louder.
I am not smiling sir. I said.
Shut up, and listen carefully. I know your kind of smart-Asses, if I hear the slightest complaint about you; I’ll make you regret that you were born at all. Do you hear me? Now get the fuck out of here.
Wow what a reception. I went back to the tent and wanted to lie down on my bed and relax. I removed the blanket and found out that my kitbag with all its content was missing. I went out to tell the corporal, and met Marco.
What happened? You look as if you have met a ghost. He said. It is only a sergeant major, don’t you know that a barking dog never bites.
First of all, I myself have been bitten by a barking dog, and second I am not worried because of the sergeant mayor, somebody stole my kitbag, and I am going to complain to the corporal. I said angrily.
Are you crazy? You are doing nothing foolish of that kind, take a walk, and come back in ten minutes, and most importantly don’t tell anybody about your stolen kitbag.
I did so, and when I came back there was a fully equipped kitbag on my bed. The following days we went through some psychometric tests, we filled a bunch of questionnaires, and were sent to various regiments.
31
I was sent to a general recruiting camp, which meant that I was not going to a fighting battalion, but to some kind of professional outfit.
In our barrack there were sixteen beds, laid out in two rows of eight, they were numbered with the odd numbers on the left, and the even ones on the right. Our commander addressed us according to our bed number, except the few unlucky ones whose name was easy to remember, I was one of them of course. I had long ago changed my last name from Spitz to Harari, but both names were still written in my I.D, and since in Hebrew slang Spits is one of the many names given to penis, it was easy to remember.
I need two volunteers, Spits and number one, come here! On the double! Clean the shithouse and return to your barrack at once. That was only the beginning.
Whenever a dirty job had to be done, it was always Spitz and the poor guy who happened to choose the first bed on the left, namely number one.
We woke up at six o clock in the morning, and never stopped what our superiors called, training, until ten at night. It began with running some five kilometers, then after a quick breakfast, we’d assault some target that included crossing all kinds of obstacles, but worst of all, were the endless hikes, carrying backpacks loaded with fifteen kilos of stones, and our weapons of course. One of the guys of our squad couldn’t take it. His name was Cadouri, I don’t remember his first name, we nicknamed him kilometer meaning that he was one meter high and weighed one kilo. Whenever things became hard on us, he fainted. Since his bed was next to mine, I felt responsible for him, so I used to carry him folded over my backpack, back to the camp. One morning we found him hanging on a rope in the shower. After six weeks of recruiting, I was transferred to the central vehicle repair outfit of the Air force.
Every newcomer was posted as guard for a month or so, until another newcomer replaced him, then he would begin his work as auto mechanic in the workshop. One of the guards explained the arrangement.
We are five guards, he said, with the smile of someone revealing a very important message. We split the day into four shifts, three hours of day guard and three hours at night. Every fourth day, one of us is off duty for 24 hours. Then he returns to begin his day shift at seven in the morning, and his night shift at seven in the evening. The second day his shifts are from ten to one, the third day from one to four, and on the fourth day, you finish at seven in the morning, and you are free till seven of the next morning. He was quite satisfied with this arrangement. During this period of boring guard duty, I had to stay with the other guards in their barrack. It was quite depressing, the guys who were not on duty sat on their beds simply waiting for their turn to stand at the gate. I had to find a way to minimize the penalty. I kept looking for a better combination. I went to the guy who introduced me to the duty.
Listen, I have a proposition, I said happily, instead of beginning with the first shift, let’s turn the whole thing over, start with the last shift, then the third, the second, and then the first, so instead of going home at seven in the morning and coming back at seven the next day, you can go home at ten in the evening stay home for two nights, and come back at four in the afternoon, how do you like that.
While I was explaining the benefits of the new approach, I saw by his reaction that he was not capable to understand, how with no additional personnel, we could double our free time and still fulfill our duty.
32
Who the hell do you think you are? You have just arrived and you want us to change the way things are going on here for years. If you don’t want to get in trouble, keep your mouth shut, and do your duty, that’s all. I must have offended him deeply, to get such a reaction.
I am really sorry, I tried a new approach. I had no intention to upset you, on the contrary, to prove my point I am prepared to do double shifts on my first day, and if after a few days you’ll not be convinced, we can go back to the previous arrangement. The logic didn’t go through, but the offer of the double shift was convincing, and it is needless to say that the profit of an extra day of vacation closed the subject.
The military base that our camp was situated in, was the size of an average city, with a shopping center, sport facilities, two or three restaurants, and a cinema. Every day they screened a new feature film, and as I was off duty for hours every day, I saw at least four motion pictures every week.
The Israeli Air-Force has a reputation of being one of the best in the world, but what is not so well known about it, is the many great party’s the brave pilots organized. I had become friends with Fima one of the guys who arrived a few days before me. He was too handsome for a man, and was often harassed by soldiers, who concluded that with such an appearance, he must be a homosexual. At the time it was the worst thing you could say about a guy. I don’t know till now if he was attracted to men, he never made any passes at me, but he surely had great success with women. Whenever we were going out in the evening, he had a girl clinging on to him. Moreover, he knew where and when there is a party. So we spent our evenings together, between movies and dancing. Fima introduced me every now and then to a girl, together with a few words of advice as how to get her laid, but it never worked. I am still wondering if his instructions were no good, or was it because of my clumsy approach. On the dance floor, I was Valentino, (the practice I got with my aunts at the family weddings came at hand now.) but afterwards while we were just the two of us, and I would try to kiss her, it was the same old story again.
One day, we went to a party where Fima had arranged a blind date for both of us. We met the two young girls Alice and Hannah. It turned out that they were both soldiers, stationed in a camp not far from ours. We had agreed beforehand that I would be the one to decide which of the two girls will be my date.
I don’t care, said Fima, I have many others waiting in line anyhow.
They were both good looking. I chose Alice because she was the smaller one, and with her I felt more secure. (I have an inferiority complex when it comes to big women.) We danced together for a while, and Alice suggested that we take a walk. That was an interesting switch. Usually that kind of proposition came from me. I told Fima that we are leaving and he wished me good luck. Alice suggested that we walk up to the main road, and hitchhike into town.
I have to be on duty at one o clock in the morning. I did not tell her what that duty was. Let her think that I am doing something important.
Don’t worry, you’ll be back on time, you can count on me. She said with a reassuring smile.
33
We used the well-known trick, Alice stopped a car while I was hiding behind a bush, and when she climbed in, I ran up and sat beside her. When we arrived in Ramat-Gan, Alice thanked the driver and we walked up the main street.
Why not Tel-Aviv? I wanted to know, all the action is there.
I like it here; this is where I was born. She replied.
So your parents are Iraqis, I said joking; I was so sure that she was Ashkenazi. (This is what we call Jews of European origin.) Many Iraqi families have settled in Ramat-Gan. On Sabbath you could see elderly men walking the streets in striped pajamas, a custom that was widely ridiculed.
Yes they are, she said, more than a bit offended, have you got a problem with it?
None at all, excuse my stupid sense of humor, I was so sure that you are European, that I allowed myself to joke about it, but I have really nothing against Easterners, some of my best friends…I felt I should rather shut up, every word made her more upset.
What can I do to get your forgiveness? I tried a new approach.
Just hug me, and stop talking so much. She said.
Here in the middle of the street? That was the big hero again.
Why not? Is it against the law? She said mockingly.
I hugged her and kissed her, to the satisfaction of a crowd that was beginning to surround us, I want to remind you that I am talking about 1952 at that time it was uncommon to engage in foreplay in public areas. Proudly I put my arm around her waist and we walked away. After a few minutes Alice said to me,
I live just two blocks from here; let’s go up to my room.
My imagination was drawing all kinds of erotic pictures. That is a liberated woman; she is merely eighteen years old and has a room of her own, where she invites her mate on her first evening with him. She is right of course. Why spend time? Life is short; you should enjoy it as much as you can. I was still phrasing my hedonistic philosophy, when she opened the door, and I was standing in front of her parents. Meet Abraham, she said to them, and to me; meet my parents.
Sit down, said her father, how are you? Would you like something to drink? Before I could reply he put a glass of arrack (an oriental brandy) in front of me. I am not much of an alcohol fan, and I don’t like arrack at all, but I didn’t want to offend them, so I swallowed it like a medicine.
What is your profession? That was the father.
Excuse me; I didn’t hear your question. I couldn’t believe my ears.
My question is how are you going to support my daughter after you finish the army?
This is my first evening with Alice; I have no intention to marry her.
Then what exactly are your intentions, Young man? He asked with a menacing voice.
My intentions right now are to go back to my duty, and serve my country. Thank you for your hospitality. Alice was standing there, pale like a sheet, trying unsuccessfully to hold back her tears. I never met her again.
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