Finally, a book that guarantees your balls will be stomped; a book so manly that it will make even the burliest of men (and in some cases, the burliest of women) feel inadequate. So manly, it needs to be shaved: "The Alphabet of Manliness". This collection of sacred writings may very well be the greatest compilation of all things manly throughout history. This book is only for the saltiest, hairiest, most rugged son of a bitch out there. However, it would be selfish to keep it for myself, so feel free to buy a copy. This humble tome of wisdom is a tribute to all men who toil away at work every day, getting their balls busted, or busting balls. If you can't handle the punch to the colon I'm about to deliver to you, look on the bright side: you'll save a fortune on Halloween when kids come to your door to pick apart your candy ass. On the other hand, if you feel comfortable with the risk of having your ass neatly packaged and handed to you with all the trimmings, cut the foreplay and crack the book open already....

GET PUNCHED IN THE FACE, DAILY.

If you want to find out what day it is without getting punched in the face, this calendar isn't for you. Put this back down on the shelf, and walk over to the section with cats "hanging in there," because you aren't hairy enough for this tome of manliness. Introducing: The Year of Manliness 2010. A calendar so manly that it will make even the burliest of men (and the burliest of women) feel inadequate. You will never see this calendar asking for directions or apologizing for coming home late. What you will see is ballsout action, piles of cupids, dumps taken, and a chick wrestling a gorilla. Brought to you by the badass artists behind the New York Times bestseller The Alphabet of Manliness, each month is illustrated in full color, and spritzed with the tears of virgins for extra awesomeness. Buy it, or go to hell.

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Jamie thought everything was perfect on his hockey team. But when the goalie is injured, Jamie has to step in to play the unfamiliar position. With the state championship at stake, can Jamie help his team skate to victory or are they all on thin ice?...

Caleb has always batted with the same wood bat until the other team accuses Caleb of cheating by tampering with the bat! Now Caleb is forced to use the aluminum bat. How is he supposed to help his team win when he keeps striking out?...

Best friends Carlos and Ricky race all the time, but when their bikes are sabotaged before a major race, they cant trust each other. Theyll have to band together to figure out whos pulling a double cross....

Since Derek is the tallest kid on his basketball team, his coach decides to have him play center instead of Jason. Derek thinks this is a lucky break, until Jason stops passing the ball to him....

Nick is injured skateboarding, but he quickly jumps back on the road to recovery in hopes of being ready for the big competition. With practice, Nick hopes he'll be able to skate the killer half pipes and thin rails just like the pros....

Anton loves playing football until Malik, the talented quarterback, starts acting strange. Instead of working with the team, Malik is just showing off. Anton has to fix the problem fast, before the quarterback ruins everything!...

The only fun thing to do in Amir's neighborhood is climb buildings. Of course, no one will let him do that. When a police officer offers to bring Amir to a climbing wall outside of the city, Amir is thrilled. He meets William, who also loves climbing. But William doesn't want to learn the right way to climb, and before long, he is in serious danger....

Jill never expected her week at surf camp to be interrupted by a hurricane, but one is heading for the North Carolina coast. Abby and Sara think surfing in a hurricane will be amazing. Then the waves get out of control. Time is running out, and the storm is coming....

Hannah and Brian have the run of Snowstream, a cool winter resort. But a new kid, Zach, starts a boys only snowboard cross team. What will Brian do when hes forced to choose between Hannah and snowboarding?...

For as long as he can remember, Ethan has envied his dad's hunting trips. His dad has always promised to bring Ethan along when he's old enough, and finally, this year is the year! But on their hunt, Ethan discovers some dead deer left in the woods. A poacher is killing the animals for fun. Ethan knows that's against the Hunter's Code . . . after all, he broke that rule himself....

Ella and Laura can't believe it when two of the meanest girls from a rival volleyball team switch to their team. Before long, it's clear that the new girls don't plan to be good teammates. Is there any hope for a championship, or was the season ruined before it began?...

Contemporary stories about teamwork and sportsmanship....

Tanner Ryan hates everything about his new town. All of his friends are back in his old city, and the only thing he likes in Woodville is his family's pool. That is until he discovers the Curves, the most amazing place ever to skateboard. Unfortunately, on the same day he finds the Curves, he meets Bennett Parsons III, the resident bully. And the locals aren't happy that Tanner's been skateboarding all over town. Can Tanner make friends and still have fun doing what he likes to do? Or has he been doomed to a life without skateboarding?...

Jamals been asked to try out for the super elite youth basketball team. His dad makes him a deal: If Jamal makes the team, he gets new shoes. But will the fancy new shoes really improve Jamals game?...

Michael Haynes has won more races in the midget car circuit than any other driver in his age division. And he couldn't have done it without his brother, Mark, who's a great mechanic. Then Buzz Ripshaw comes along. Buzz doesn't drive fair, and Michael gets hurt during the biggest race of the year. How will Team Haynes win without their driver? Realistic Fiction....

Austin may be new to town, but he's not new to go-kart racing. Unfortunately, he had to leave his kart behind when he moved. When he races against Ryan Stone, Austin quickly learns that Ryan's the guy to beat. But how can Austin's rental kart compete with Ryan's shiny red kart? Austin will have to learn that the driver, not the kart, wins the race....

Jamie thought everything was perfect on his hockey team. But when the goalie is injured, Jamie has to step in to play the unfamiliar position. With the state championship at stake, can Jamie help his team skate to victoryor are they all on thin ice?...

Tanner Ryan hates everything about his new town. All of his friends are back in his old city, and the only thing he likes in Woodville is his family's pool. That is until he discovers the Curves, the most amazing place ever to skateboard. Unfortunately, on the same day he finds the Curves, he meets Bennett Parsons III, the resident bully. And the locals aren't happy that Tanner's been skateboarding all over town. Can Tanner make friends and still have fun doing what he likes to do? Or has he been doomed to a life without skateboarding?...

The only fun thing to do in Amir's neighborhood is climb buildings. Of course, no one will let him do that. When a police officer offers to bring Amir to a climbing wall outside of the city, Amir is thrilled. He meets William, who also loves climbing. But William doesn't want to learn the right way to climb, and before long, he is in serious danger....

Peter made the varsity lacrosse team, just like his best friends said he would. In fact, the coach thinks he's one of the best on the team. But Hurley Johnson, the team's captain, doesn't want Peter to take his spot. He'll stop at nothing to make Peter quit. Will Peter give up?...

Daniel's favorite thing to do is fish with his grandpa. But when his grandfather passes away, all that Daniel has left are stories of Big Larry, the monster fish Grandpa spent his life chasing. Daniel decides to try to catch Big Larry in honor of his grandpa. But can he land the biggest catch of his life, or will he let Big Larry get away?...

Last year, Annie didnt make the basketball team. But this year theres a new coach, and Annies been practicing her heart out. Annie is determined to make the team this year, and she isnt going to let anything stand in her way!...

Matt wants to make the Evergreen racing team, but his chances are seriously threatened when a new boy moves to town and resorts to cheating in order to win....

Contemporary stories about teamwork and sportsmanship....

David Gray is notorious in his baseball league, notorious for strike outs, both as a pitcher and a batter. After learning about the great Babe Ruth, David becomes determined to become a good all around player, which means he'll have to learn how to bat....

Max and Tyler have been paintball partners for a long time when they realize that something's strange at the paintball field. A new player in town, Ryan, has just started playing and winning. At first, Max chalks it up to beginner's luck. But then he starts to notice weird things about Ryan and his team: They always use the same yellow paintballs, for example, even though each team is supposed to get a new color each match. And the marks the paintballs leave behind don't match up to the number of times the players shoot. Can Max and Tyler figure out what's going on before the biggest tournament of the year?...

Peter made the varsity lacrosse team, just like his best friends said he would. In fact, the coach thinks he's one of the best on the team. But Hurley Johnson, the team's captain, doesn't want Peter to take his spot. He'll stop at nothing to make Peter quit. Will Peter give up?...

Berk always plays goalie for his soccer team. But when a new kid, Ryan, moves to town, Berk has to play an unfamiliar position. Ryan may have incredible talent, but hes also wildly unpredictable. Can the team survive the season?...

Contemporary stories about teamwork and sportsmanship....