While Peter is away from the island, James and the other Lost Boys discover a mysterious cave. Shining Pearl and her sister Little Scallop warn the boys that the cave is a dangerous place, inhabited by a creature known as the Goat Taker-a beast so scary that even the Mollusk tribe fears it. But the boys can't resist trying to discover the cave's secrets. When the first of those secrets turns out to be a tantalizing hint of a famous haunted treasure, Captain Hook and his band of cutthroat pirates quickly join the hunt. Before long the children are fleeing for their lives in a dark and deadly underground labyrinth.and their only hope of escape is to solve the mystery of the Cave of the Dark Wind.
...

Follow the adventures of Peter, Molly, Tinker Bell, and the Lost Boys in all three Peter Pan prequels: Peter and the Starcatchers, Peter and the Shadow Thieves, and Peter and the Secret of Rundoon. Don't even think of starting this trilogy unless you're sitting in a comfortable chair and have lots of time. These fast-paced, impossible-to-put-down adventures are action-packed, touching, and tons of fun!...

The first three books in the Peter and the Starcatchers series tell the story of a young orphan named Peter and how he became the forever-young boy from J. M. Barrie's classic novel. Pirates, sea battles, starstuff, flying camels, treacherous villains, and intrepid heroes make for an incredible adventure that is impossible to put down. Readers will be rooted to their chairs from the first page of Peter and the Starcatchers to the last page of Peter and the Secret of Rundoon. And once they finish, fans will be chomping at the bit for the fourth novel, Peter and the Sword of Mercy, which hits shelves just a month later....

Did you ever wish that you really understood money? Well, Dave Barry wishes that he did, too. But that hasn’t stopped him from writing this book. In it, Dave explores (as only he can) such topics as:

• How the U.S. economy works, including the often overlooked role of Adam Sandler
• Why it is not a good idea to use squirrels for money
• Strategies that will give you the confidence you need to try for a good job, even though you are—let’s be honest—a no-talent loser
• How corporate executives, simply by walking into their offices, immediately become much stupider
• An absolutely foolproof system for making money in the stock market, requiring only a little effort (and access to time travel)
• Surefire tips for buying and selling real estate, the key being: Never buy—or, for that matter, sell—real estate
• How to minimize your federal taxes, safely and legally, by cheating
• Why good colleges cost so much, and how to make sure your child does not get into one
• How to reduce the cost of your medical care by basically not getting any
• Estate planning, especially the financial benefits of an early death
• And many, many pictures of Suze Orman

But that’s only the beginning! Dave has also included in this book all of the important points from a book written by Donald Trump, so you don’t have to read it yourself. Plus he explains how to tip, how to negotiate for everything (including bridge tolls), how to argue with your spouse about money, and how much allowance to give your children (three dollars is plenty). He also presents, for the first time in print anywhere, the Car Dealership Code of Ethics (“Ethic Seven: The customer is an idiot”). Also, there are many gratuitous references to Angelina Jolie naked. You can’t afford not to buy this book! Probably you need several copies.


What kind of financial shape are you in right now? This scientific quiz will show you.

Be honest in your answers: If you lie, you’ll only be lying to yourself! The place to lie is on your federal tax return.


What is your annual income?
1. More than $50,000.
2. Less than $50,000.
3. However much I get when I return these empties.

Not counting your mortgage, how much money do you currently owe?
1. Less than $10,000.
2. More than $10,000.
3. Men are threatening to cut off my thumbs.

How would you describe your portfolio?
1. Conservative, mainly bonds and blue-chip equities.
2. Aggressive, mainly options and speculative stocks.
3. My what?

When analyzing an investment, what do you consider to be the most important factor?
1. The amount of return.
2. The degree of risk.
3. The name of the jockey.

How do you plan to finance your retirement?
1. Savings.
2. Social security.
3. Sale of kidneys.

—from the Introduction: “Why You Need This Book”


Also available as a Crown eBook.


From the Hardcover edition....

The year is 1901--it's been twenty-three years since Peter and the Lost Boys returned from Rundoon. Since then, nobody on the island has grown a day older, and the Lost Boys continue their friendship with the Mollusk tribe, and their rivalry with Captain Hook. Meanwhile in London, Molly has married George Darling and is raising three children: Wendy, Michael, and John. One night a visitor appears at her door; it's James, one of Peter's original Lost Boys. He is now working for Scotland Yard and suspects that the heir to England's throne, Prince Albert Edward, is under the influence of shadow creatures. These shadow creatures are determined to find a secret cache of startstuff which fell to London many centuries ago. The starstuff is hidden in an underground vault which has only one key: the Sword of Mercy, a legendary weapon kept with the Crown Jewels. Molly is determined to help, but when she suddenly goes missing, it is up to her eleven-year-old daughter, Wendy, to keep the starstuff out of the Others' clutches. She has heard her mother's stories of a flying boy named Peter Pan, and he may be her only hope in saving the world from a shadowy doom......

Pulitzer Prize-winning journalist, bestselling author, and Wheel of Fortune contestant Dave Barry exposes the shattering truth. Whether he's splashing with the U.S. sychronized swim team ("Picture a bunch of elegant swans swimming with a flailing sea cow") or reliving the Pilgrims' first Thanksgiving ("We've decided to obliterate your culture, but first may we try the stuffing?"), Dave Barry proves that one man can make a difference--by having the guts to answer the questions few people bother to ask:

 ¸  What makes people want to eat animals they would never consider petting?
 ¸  Where do the World's Three Most Boring People meet?
 ¸  Why is Colorado freezing so many human gonads?
 ¸  And just how does Oprah have the power to turn a 1957 Hotpoint toaster manual into a #1 bestseller?...

...

Have a very Barry Christmas!

In this “hilarious” (USA Today) national bestseller, Pulitzer Prize–winning humorist Dave Barry pens one of the warmest, most delightful Christmas stories ever. The year is 1960, and the Christmas pageant at St. John’s Episcopal Church is a very big deal. Doug Barnes is a shepherd this year, which is better than being a Three King, because you get to carry a stick. There are problems, however. The girl he likes is playing Mary opposite a Joseph who is depressingly smart, athletic, and cute; the family dog is doing poorly, and they have no idea what they’re going to tell Doug’s little sister, Becky; and his dad’s just gotten a flat tire, which means they might not even get to the pageant. But Christmas is a time of miracles. And for Doug and his family, this will be the most miraculous Christmas of all....

Peter Pan, the Lost Boys, and Captain Hook have been some of the world's most storied characters since J.M. Barrie introduced them in his beloved tale, Peter Pan. In this new picture book, Dave Barry and Ridley Pearson take a fresh look at these characters as only they can. Created for the animated film, Mary Blair's illustrations helped to define the look of this Walt Disney classic and bring all the magic of Never Land to life-from the ominous Skull Rock to Peter's secret underground lair. 

Laced with humor, action, and a dash of pixie dust, this cheeky retelling and vibrant concept art are woven into an entertaining new take on a classic story.
...

If you love to laugh, if you love your country, if you are unaware that "the Sixth Amendment states that if you are accused of a crime, you have the right to a trial before a jury of people too stupid to get out of jury duty," Dave Barry Slept Here is the book for you. Every single momentous event and crucial movement is covered, including:

• The Birthing Contractions of a Nation
  
• Kicking Some British Butt
  
• The Forging of a Large, Wasteful Bureaucracy
  
• The Civil War: A Nation Pokes Itself in the Eyeball
  
• The Fifties: Peace, Prosperity, Brain Death
  
• The Reagan-Bush Years: Napping Toward Glory
  
• And much more!
  

...

A brilliantly funny look at the tumultuous recent past from the Pulitzer Prize–winning humorist.

Remember when everything was going to go to hell when Y2K struck?

That didn’t happen. Right?

But what did happen? To provide a little perspective on a really messed-up millennium (so far), the one and only Dave Barry slips into his historian’s robe (it’s plush terrycloth) and revisits the defining moments in our country’s recent history—from the Bush years to…jeez, it’s still the Bush years! As an added bonus, Barry quickly—we’re busy here—tosses in the complete history of the last millennium, covering crucial turning points such as the invention of the pizza by Leonardo da Vinci and the computer by Charles Babbage (who died in 1871 still waiting to talk to tech support).

Fellow Americans, the time has come to bone up with Barry as he puts the hysterical in history....

In this action-packed finale to the Starcatchers series, Peter and Molly find themselves in the dangerous land of Rundoon, ruled by an evil king who enjoys watching his pet snake consume those who displease him. But that's just the beginning of problems facing our heroes, who once again find themselves pitted against the evil shadow-creature Lord Ombra in a struggle to save themselves, not to mention the planet. It's a wild desert adventure, with rockets, carpets, and camels all flying through the air, zooming toward an unforgettable climax...
...

In this riveting and adventure-packed follow-up to Peter and the Starcatchers, we discover Peter leaving the relative safety of Mollusk Island-along with his trusted companion Tinker Bell-for the cold, damp streets of London. On a difficult journey across the sea, he and Tink discover the dark and deadly, slithering part-man/part-creature Lord Ombra. It seems that the dreaded Ombra has a variety of mysterious powers including the ability to make shadows disappear. When Peter reaches London, he sets out to find the indomitable Molly. Together they must combat Ombra's terrible forces to both protect the Starcatchers and the treasured starstuff and most importantly to rescue Molly's mother from the clutches of evil. Dave Barry and Ridley Pearson have done it again-written a compulsively readable, impossible-to-put-down tale that will delight readers of all ages.
...

Grdankl the Strong, president of Kprshtskan, is plotting to take over the American government. His plan is to infiltrate the science fair at Hubble Middle School, located in a Maryland suburb just outside Washington. The rich kids at Hubble cheat by buying their projects every year, and Grdankl's cronies should have no problem selling them his government-corrupting software. But this year, Toby Harbinger, a regular kid with Discount Warehouse shoes, is determined to win the $5,000 prize-even if he has to go up against terrorists to do it. With the help of his best friends, Tamara and Micah, Toby takes on Assistant Principal Paul Parmit, aka "The Armpit", a laser-eyed stuffed owl, and two eBay buyers named Darth and the Wookiee who seem to think that the Harrison-Ford-signed BlasTech DL-44 blaster Toby sold them is a counterfeit. What transpires is a hilarious adventure filled with mystery, suspense, and levitating frogs.
...

The year is 1901--it's been twenty-three years since Peter and the Lost Boys returned from Rundoon. Since then, nobody on the island has grown a day older, and the Lost Boys continue their friendship with the Mollusk tribe, and their rivalry with Captain Hook. Meanwhile in London, Molly has married George Darling and is raising three children: Wendy, Michael, and John. One night a visitor appears at her door; it's James, one of Peter's original Lost Boys. He is now working for Scotland Yard and suspects that the heir to England's throne, Prince Albert Edward, is under the influence of shadow creatures. These shadow creatures are determined to find a secret cache of startstuff which fell to London many centuries ago. The starstuff is hidden in an underground vault which has only one key: the Sword of Mercy, a legendary weapon kept with the Crown Jewels. Molly is determined to help, but when she suddenly goes missing, it is up to her eleven-year-old daughter, Wendy, to keep the starstuff out of the Others' clutches. She has heard her mother's stories of a flying boy named Peter Pan, and he may be her only hope in saving the world from a shadowy doom......

"Mr. Barry is the funniest man in America and we should encourage him."
--The New York Times Book Review
THERE'S NO PLACE LIKE HOME--EXCEPT IN A SELLER'S MARKET
At long last, Dave Barry, the dean of everything, lets you in on the deepest, darkest mysteries of life and answers your hysterical home purchase questions like they've never been answered before:
What's the best way to determine a realistic price range?
Take your total family income, including coins that have fallen behind the bureau, and any projected future revenue you have been notified about via personalized letters from Mr. Ed McMahon stating that you may already have won 14 million dollars. Then, multiply by something other than six.
Can you recommend a good mortgage?
There are several kinds: Fixed Rate, Variable Rate, and the bank's secret weapons, the Party Hat Mortgage and the Mortgage of the Living Dead.
How can I avoid spending money on do-it-yourself homeowner's projects?
Find a contractor. Their silent motto is "We Never Show Up." The Romans lived among the ruins. You must too.
Is there a secret to having a beautiful lawn?
Yes and no. If you fail to feed, fertilize, and water your lawn, it will die. However, if you feed, fertilize, and water your lawn, it will die.
...

A brilliantly funny exploration of the tumultuous recent past from the Pulitzer Prize-winning humorist....

Don’t even think of starting this book unless you’re sitting in a comfortable chair and have lots of time. A fast-paced, impossible-to-put-down adventure awaits as the young orphan Peter and his mates are dispatched to an island ruled by the evil King Zarboff. They set sail aboard the Never Land, a ship carrying a precious and mysterious trunk in its cargo hold, and the journey quickly becomes fraught with excitement and danger. Discover richly developed characters in the sweet but sophisticated Molly, the scary but familiar Black Stache, and the fearless Peter. Treacherous battles with pirates, foreboding thunderstorms at sea, and evocative writing immerses the reader in a story that slowly and finally reveals the secrets and mysteries of the beloved Peter Pan....

In this riveting and adventure-packed follow-up to Peter and the Starcatchers, we discover Peter leaving the relative safety of Mollusk Island—along with his trusted companion Tinker Bell—for the cold, damp streets of London. On a difficult journey across the sea, he and Tink discover the dark and deadly, slithering part-man/part-creature Lord Ombra. It seems that the dreaded Ombra has a variety of mysterious powers including the ability to make shadows disappear. When Peter reaches London, he sets out to find the indomitable Molly. Together they must combat Ombra’s terrible forces to both protect the Starcatchers and the treasured starstuff and most importantly to rescue Molly’s mother from the clutches of evil. Dave Barry and Ridley Pearson have done it again—written a compulsively readable, impossible-to-put-down tale that will delight readers of all ages....

Don’t even think of starting this book unless you’re sitting in a comfortable chair and have lots of time. A fast-paced, impossible-to-put-down adventure awaits as the young orphan Peter and his mates are dispatched to an island ruled by the evil King Zarboff. They set sail aboard the Never Land, a ship carrying a precious and mysterious trunk in its cargo hold, and the journey quickly becomes fraught with excitement and danger. Discover richly developed characters in the sweet but sophisticated Molly, the scary but familiar Black Stache, and the fearless Peter. Treacherous battles with pirates, foreboding thunderstorms at sea, and evocative writing immerses the reader in a story that slowly and finally reveals the secrets and mysteries of the beloved Peter Pan....