Ellis Weiner

Ellis Weiner

סופר


1.
2.
Jane is in real estate.

Today is Saturday.


Jane has an open house.

She must schlep the Open House signs to the car.

See Jane schlep.

Schlep, Jane. Schlep.

Schlep, schlep, schlep.

In text that captures the unque rhythms of the original Dick and Jane readers, and in 35 all-new illustrations, a story unfolds in which Dick and Jane--hero and heroine of the classic books for children that generations of Americans have used when learning to read--manage to express shades of feeling and nuances of meaning that ordinary English just can't deliver. How? By speaking Yiddish, employing terms that convey an attitude--part plucky self-assertion, part ironic fatalism. When Dick schmoozes, when Jane kvetches, when their children fress noodles at a Chinese restaurant, the clash of cultures produces genuine hilarity....

3.

Yes, you’re spiritually enlightened.

But is your dog?

With Arffirmations, any dog—of any age, breed, or gender—can attain the same level of personal enlightenment and metaphysical peace that, until now, only humans could enjoy.

Simply present Arffirmations to your dog and allow the animal to read them at his or her own pace.  In as little as a week, your pet will experience a new reality.  A reality of wisdom.  A reality of radiance.  A reality of joy.  Really.

In these pages your pet will find a wide variety of inspiring meditations, including:

·         Arffirmations for Attracting and Accepting Food

·         Arffirmations About Attaining Enlightenment

·         Arffirmations of Self-Love and Self-Acceptance

To all owners who want their dogs to live with the fullest possible awareness of Life…

And to all dogs seeking the wisdom and peace that can only be found in the deepest appreciation of one’s place in the cycle of Waking, Eating, Sleeping, and Barking One’s Brains Out…

We present: Arffirmations

 

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4.
What do George and Laura Bush have in common with Dick and Jane? Well, both hail from prototypical WASP families. And, perhaps more to the point, both exhibit a natural resistance to moral complexity (i.e., reality). That's the premise of this hilarious new primer-style book in which George, Laura, and the entire Bush family communicate with uncharacteristic expressiveness, conveying shades of of feeling and nuances of meaning that plain old English can't deliver--by peppering their conversatuon with Yiddishisms....






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