"If you really loved me..."

"After all I've done for you..."

"How can you be so selfish..."

Do any of the above sound familiar? They're all examples of emotional blackmail, a powerful form of manipulation in which people close to us threaten to punish us for not doing what they want. Emotional blackmailers know how much we value our relationships with them. They know our vulnerabilities and our deepest secrets. They are our mothers, our partners, our bosses and coworkers, our friends and our lovers. And no matter how much they care about us, they use this intimate knowledge to give themselves the payoff they want: our compliance.

Susan Forward knows what pushes our hot buttons. Just as John Gray illuminates the communications gap between the sexes in Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus, and Harriet Lerner describes an intricate dynamic in The Dance of Anger, so Susan Forward presents the anatomy of a relationship damaged by manipulation, and gives readers an arsenal of tools to fight back. In her clear, no-nonsense style, Forward provides powerful, practical strategies for blackmail targets, including checklists, practice scenarios and concrete communications techniques that will strengthen relationships and break the blackmail cycle for good....

Are you the child of toxic parents?

When you were a child...

• Did your parents tell you you were bad or worthless?
• Did your parents use physical pain to discipline you?
• Did you have to take care of your parents because of their problems?
• Were you often frightened of your parents?
• Did your parents do anything to you that had to be kept secret?

Now that you’re an adult...

• Do your parents still treat you as if you were a child?
• Do you have intense emotional or physical reactions after spending time with your parents?
• Do your parents control you with threats or guilt? Do they manipulate you with money?
• Do you feel that no matter what you do, it’s never good enough for your parents?

In this remarkable self-help guide, Dr. Susan Forward draws on case histories and the real-life voices of adult children of toxic parents to help you free yourself from the frustrating patterns of your relationship with your parents — and discover a new world of self-confidence, inner strength, and emotional independence....

Are your in-laws poisoning your marriage?
Bestselling author Susan Forward shows you how to manage their behavior without jeopardizing your relationship with your spouse.

Toxic in-laws come in a variety of guises. There's the Critic, who can't wait to tell you what you're doing wrong: the Controller, who tries to run your life; the Engulfer, who makes constant demands on your time; and the Master of Chaos, whose numerous problems inevitably end up in your lap. If you're suffering from these or from any other type of infuriating in-laws, your frustration is likely affecting your relationship with your spouse. This remarkable book will help.

With equal doses of understanding and advice, Susan Forward helps you navigate the treacherous waters of toxic in-laws. She explains the unique complexities of the in-law problem, a triangle that forces you and your spouse into a tug-of-war of loyalty and support. She shows how in-laws often manipulate their children to get what they want, and helps you understand the difficulties this poses for your partner.

Drawing from real-life stories of men and women struggling to free themselves from their in-laws' destructive behavior, Forward offers highly effective strategies for getting your partner to stand up for you, for setting reasonable limits, and, most importantly, for protecting your marriage. Her techniques and strategies may not transform your toxic in-laws into the in-laws of your dreams, but they will help you maintain your sanity, self-respect, and, best of all, your relationship with the person with whom you've chosen to share your life.

...

Have you ever been lied to by a lover? In this straightforward and supportive book, therapist Susan Forward profiles the wide variety of liars, shows you how to deal with the lies -- from the benign to the lethal -- that these men spin, and gives practical strategies to stop them before they ruin your relationship and, ultimately, your life.

Once you find out the truth about your lover and his lies, what do you do? Forward offers practical, proven, step-by-step methods for healing the wounds caused by his deception and betrayal. She provides all the communication and behavioral techniques you need to deal with a lover's lies, telling you exactly what to say, when and how to respond to his reactions, and how to present your requirements for staying in the relationship. With understanding and compassion, she helps you decide whether your relationship can be saved and shows you how to move beyond doubt and regret if you feel that it can't. But whether you stay or go, you can learn to love and trust again.

...

Is this the way love is supposed to feel?

• Does the man you love assume the right to control how you live and behave?
• Have you given up important activities or people to keep him happy?
• Is he extremely jealous and possessive?
• Does he switch from charm to anger without warning?
• Does he belittle your opinions, your feelings, or your accomplishments?
• Does he withdraw love, money, approval, or sex to punish you?
• Does he blame you for everything that goes wrong in the relationship?
• Do you find yourself “walking on eggs” and apologizing all the time?

If the questions here reveal a familiar pattern, you may be in love with a misogynist — a man who loves you, yet causes you tremendous pain because he acts as if he hates you.

In this superb self-help guide, Dr. Susan Forward draws on case histories and the voices of men and women trapped in these negative relationships to help you understand your man’s destructive pattern and the part you play in it.

She shows how to break the pattern, heal the hurt, regain your self-respect, and either rebuild your relationship or find the courage to love a truly loving man....