Fergal Bamfield doesn't collect stamps like normal kids. He's an oddball (his mother prefers to call him "clever"), and his collection is as strange as everything else about him. Fergal Bamfield collects tin cans.

Then one day he finds a can without a label. What could be in it? Peaches, soup, perhaps revolting spam? But instead it's something gruesome: a human finger. Then Fergal finds another can, this time containing a one-word message, HELP! Now Fergal and his friend Charlotte are knee-deep in an adventure, and they're about to learn something horrible: Everybody has an expiration date.

...

Eric and Clive's widowed dad is a steward on a cruise ship, and every time he goes away, the twins miss him terribly. Eric (older and considerably wiser than Clive by about five minutes) and Clive decide that this time will be different. When their father leaves for his latest cruise, they will go with him! Only Dad doesn't know yet, because Eric and Clive are going to be stowaways! How can their plan possibly fail? Okay, so Clive is a compulsive liar, with a tendency toward disastrous mishaps. It's worth the risk. All they have to do is keep out of Dad's way and stay out of trouble -- for three whole weeks......